Thursday, April 16, 2015

In Her Final Hours

Goodbye my baby girl. 

Through and through, no ifs, ands, or buts I'm what you'd call a "Pet Person". My little ones are like my children...sometimes this even includes the neighbor's pets. 

Yesterday I lost my beloved kitty and there is intense pain that accompanies this loss. In her final hours, she appeared frail, unable to walk...diluted and unlike the feisty feline that I'd spent the last 13 years nurturing. A significant and constant part of my life, even in her passing, she fought to stay with me. 

There's a glimpse of comfort in knowing we have deeply loved and cared for her to the very best of our abilities. I'm grateful for all her bossy silent meows and a million scratchy tongue kisses. I'm even grateful for the days when I'm sure she thought I was her maid.

Holding her in my arms one last time, trying to accept her looming death felt like a nightmare but watching her suffer as End Stage Renal Failure submerged her completely was something we could no longer bear. It was insufferable. For months, we went to one vet appointment after another like an unshakable haunting... we went until treatment was no longer beneficial to the quality of her life. We knew our days were limited but it wasn't really about the when or how but rather the overwhelming feeling that she would leave this world having known an immense amount of love. 

I love you, Meemerz.

8 comments:

Tanya van der wal said...

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s always hard to let go of someone who had been such a huge part of your life...

Jacob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jacob said...

Dearest Bella, my heart is with your heart in this sadness. I love MiuMiu Meemerz so much. She came into our lives when Poppie died and she helped fill the void his passing left in our hearts because we knew that Poppie took in that tiny feral kitty and loved her when no one else did. And then she was ours and we cared for her and loved her so much. She truly was your little girl and she will always know you loved her dearly and didn't want to let her go. But she is happy and feels no pain or sadness now and will wait for us in our Heaven. There is an empty hole in our hearts but time will help to fill it with the happy memories we have of her. All my love Bella. Momma

blogoratti said...

So sorry about the loss of your little partner, hopefully you will find strength for today and courage for tomorrow as you remember the fond memories. Hang in there*

Bella Harris said...

Thank you all so much for your kind words... they rest gentle on my heartstrings.

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I'm the same way with my pets -- they're family members. I hope you are strong and know that there is a part of her spirit that is always with you. :)

Zoe-Lee Skelton said...

This was such a lovely tribute to your kitty.

It's so painful at first, but it does get better.

Zoe-Lee

Bella Harris said...

I miss her terribly.

Your sincere thoughts and warm wishes mean so much to me. I'm just taking it one day at a time, knowing she's always with me.

Much love to you both xox