I realize you've been particularly busy, what with the elves bogarting the majority of your time with notorious marshmallow fights and the sudden reinstatement of hot chocolate… not to mention those other precarious activities involving one sequestered sleigh bell. Let’s be honest, Dondor throwing his back out during that impromptu flight simulation and the sticky candy cane incident with Blitzen no one’s talking about, certainly has caused a rift in your mission-provoking schedule. But if you'd please FedEx/USPS/UPS the following items to my Christmas tree this holiday season, I’d genuinely appreciate it.
Obviously, I've been exceptionally bad… I mean good and only moderately naughty this year... a few misdemeanors, bar fights, F*** you slip-ups, madcap coffee addictions, and obsessive online shopping-revelry certainly doesn’t warrant a stocking full of coal, right.
Anyway, Santa, without appearing overzealous, there’s no time like the present to mention that I’ve attached my 13-page smorgasbord for your evaluation. With yuletide bliss looming, I’ve bullet pointed, highlighted, and earnestly emphasized in alphabetical order my Christmas must-haves… but feel free to transport my wish list at your earliest convenience.
Peace, love... and Merry Christmas!
Jeans, Urban Outfitters. Boots, Bakers. Bracelets, vintage. Etched bangle, Bare Accessories. Shaggy (faux)Vest, Secondhand. Chains, DIY.